Foxtails, Bushmasters, and a bit of Risk-taking

One of the kids lost our foxtail toy in a mini-jungle beside the soccer pitch today and we had to go in after it.  We went home and changed into our bushmaster clothes 'cause we were afraid of "The Equis."  The kids kept coming in and spreading out like ants.  I kept having to shoo them out because they were all in shorts and flip-flops.  We FOUND it though, after like an hour of combing.  The foxtail, that is.  NOT the Equis.

"My strength is sufficient..."

I've always been very self-reliant.  I think the particular blend of skills and talents God gave me, along with some great educators, and just happening to pick areas to work in where these skills come in super-handy, has sort of deceived me into thinking that I can take on just about anything all by myself.  On top of that, I don't really trust other people, so I like to just get things done myself.

So, for better and worse, I'm used to thriving on my own, and pretty much liking it that way.

This job does not facilitate that.  For the first time in my life, I'm in WAY over my head.  I try all the tricks I've learned in the last 10 years of teaching, and they often blow up in my face.  I do tons of research about these kids and this type of situation, and it helps a little some days, while others, I've tried all of it, and still I have a violent tantrum on my hands and I'm just standing there, baffled.  I've asked friends who are professionals for advice, which also helps some, but not enough.  And I give myself more and more margin every day, and still I'm left feeling drained and sometimes, even a bit traumatized.

On one particularly low night, I just cried out to God, and told Him I didn't know what to do anymore.  "I give up!  You're going to have to just take over, because I've tried everything I know how to do, and there's nothing left.  I feel like I've failed."

I rarely say I feel like God is speaking to me, but I thought I heard Him speak then.  He said, "It was never you anyway.  You aren't going to heal them.  I am.  Just put the final result in my hands, and follow me for the guidance.  I'll guide you as you go.  I know what to do."

It's been getting slowly better since then.

Matt. 11:28-29

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A word of encouragment

Someone from our mission who has been following our online posts said this about us.  It made us feel nice:

We sure do appreciate you all there at Casa de Fe - you Estes have added an important zaniness that really help people and places not give up:) We are praying for you all - you are doing "real good" :)

Breakthrough

I had an older student that's normally so well-behaved really act up yesterday.  I asked her what was wrong and told her I knew she didn't normally act up like that.  She wouldn't tell me, but after a couple minutes, she perked up, and was completely fine.

Today I pulled her aside and told her she did a great job "coming back to the class" after that.  I asked her again what was wrong.  She said nothing was, but then suddenly just threw her arms around me and smiled super big.  The smile looked real.

Puppet Personality

Today I let my students use puppets in class, because there was thunder, and they were pretty scared. Well, one of the boys, Martin, had this whole other personality emerge! He and his puppet were conversing about questions I asked THE WHOLE CLASS LONG: 

Me: So, is your puppet a boy or a girl? 

*Martin and Hormiguita duck behind a cabinet and confer. Hormiguita pops out.* 

Hormiguita: I'm a boy! *looks at Martin* Yes? 

Martin: Yes. 

Hormiguita: Yes. I'm a boy!

Giggle Fit!

PE at Casa de Fe!

Learning Curve

It's strange and exciting and sometimes intensely difficult all at the same time getting used to teaching and working with a new brand of kids. It can be baffling when stuff that used to work like a charm with my kiddos in Taiwan totally backfires in my face here. You think... kids are kids. And in some ways, it's true. But others, not so much.

First Official Day

Cleaning out the new school. First official day at the orphanage. Very good in some ways, but very overwhelming in others. This is going to call for some "Need for Speed" aww yeeeeah! I'm *so thankful* the house we're house-sitting at has video games.

R&R Abroad Comic, Edition 1

Introducing... Casa de Fe Orphanage in Shell, Ecuador

Amazing video about the amazing place we're going to work!

Find out more about the orphanage we're working for here:  www.lacasadefe.org

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Unicorn Dream

My cousin had a dream about me last night.  It went something like this:

I had a dream last night that Becky was a unicorn, but she was disguised as a human. And to find out who the unicorn was, we had to fashion a divining rod out of three different pieces from Crayola markers.

I was with someone who was using the divining rod while trying to remain undetected, although Becky and Richard James Estes were becoming suspicious (Obviously Rick knew and was trying to protect her). Then I collected a large mound of candy including gummy worms and peach rings and sour patch kids. Then we all sat down to eat in a hut of sorts.  Everyone very suspicious of one another. Then I woke up. But in another part of the dream Zach went to prom.  And for some reason Hitler was in there at some point too.

Accepted!!!

Rick and I were just officially accepted to Cornerstone International, the sending organization for the orphanage we're working at this school year! Now we can start raising funds for our year there and get health insurance! Yay!

Faith Assembly

Went to a church today that was just... exploding with joy!! I walked in and they were singing, and the bass-player was dancing because he was having so much fun and just didn't care how he looked, and... I don't know how to explain it... but there just wasn't room inside me for anything but JOY! The whole place was moving and singing and ALIVE!

Chesapeake Bay

Ponies on Assateaque Island

Rick and I went to a truck camper rally on the Chesapeake Bay to spend some quality time with my parents.  Wild ponies, stunning sunsets, delicious seafood, and COUNTRY LINE DANCING.  What more could a gal want?

School Pic

Here's Rick and I and the Casa de Fe School, March 2012

Photo by Christen Webster

Good Fit

We've been back in Quito from the orphanage for a week.

I crashed. Unexpectedly though...

... because that month at the orphanage just fit like a glove. They needed EFL training; Rick and I just spent the last nine years of our lives in a very competitive teaching environment learning how to teach EFL for maximum results.

It felt *so good* to be working with kids again. It felt *so good* to see that light in their eyes when you connect with them on something. And it felt *so good* to hear the teachers tell us that what we'd shown them had been really helpful.

Thanks Casa de Fe. You gave us much more than we gave you. We got the best end of the deal.

(Photo by Christen Webster)

Decompressing...

Twilight laughs

We hung out with the other volunteers Friday night before we left. It's been sooo long since I've been with a group of people who were so like-minded, fun and effortless to be with. We sat on a back porch with a stunning view of the nearby jungle and volcanoes, and told stories and just laughed and laughed. Good. Catharsis. The Aussie and I kept everyone entertained between the two of us.

I'm taking the Aussie back with us to Quito for a week.