Changing Perspectives

Viviana sporting a blue tongue

photo by Rick

Today, Rick and I did "story time" after school for the second and third grade.  Rick read a book about a crocodile that thought he was a duck.  Martin was *not* pleased.  He had on his angry face and he wouldn't walk by himself and kept mumbling, "Why we no play legos?"  And then, after about two pages, he was hooked.

While I was sitting, pretending it was the most fascinating story I'd ever heard in order to get the kids invested, Yajaira and Viviana, the twins climbed up on my lap, one on each leg.  Now, these girls aren't tubs are anything , but they. are. solid. All muscle those two.  It was like I had two baby giants on my knees, and I felt so small and petite by comparison, even while I'm no lightweight myself.

My thoughts wandered back to a different time in Taiwan a few years back when I signed up for an aerobics class with a bunch of young Taiwanese women.  I was trying to lose weight at the time, and was succeeding.  Every morning, I would take a shower and then look at my belly in the mirror and think, "Today. Today!  Today I will not feel HUMONGOUS compared to those beautiful wisps of women."  And then I would walk into the class with three walls of mirrors, surrounded by teeny, tiny, petitist-of-petite ladies, and look at my big German-English frame fumbling around to the salsa moves and think, "I'm an AMAZON!"

It was funny to feel the perspective shift.

Dramatic Compliments

So, out of the blue in third grade theatre class today, came this dialogue...

Alondra:  Miss Rebekah, you look so pretty today!
Anita:  Yes.  Your socks are so pretty.
Alondra: And her hair. I like her hair!
Caila: And her skirt is so pretty!
Alondra: And her earrings!
Estefania: And her shirt is so pretty!
Anita:  And those socks with those shoes....!
Wilson: Why you have bruises on you leg?
Rebekah: I don't know.  I bruise easily.

I did wonder if they were buttering me up for something (except Wilson, who was just being Wilson), but I honestly didn't care.  These kids can be so moody and tough sometimes, I felt so happy just to hear them practice using kind words.

*Sigh* I'll never change my clothes again.

CONGA! at Casa de Fe

Stayed for Zumba after school today. This was the cool down. Wild times!  

By this point, I had danced for an hour straight with kids taking turns on my back.  I was drenched!  And at one point, there was this one tiny, little dude up dancing on a table.  Ha!  I didn't even know that dude could walk.  They learn early at the foundation.  Otherwise, they just get left in the dust!

Foxtails, Bushmasters, and a bit of Risk-taking

One of the kids lost our foxtail toy in a mini-jungle beside the soccer pitch today and we had to go in after it.  We went home and changed into our bushmaster clothes 'cause we were afraid of "The Equis."  The kids kept coming in and spreading out like ants.  I kept having to shoo them out because they were all in shorts and flip-flops.  We FOUND it though, after like an hour of combing.  The foxtail, that is.  NOT the Equis.

"My strength is sufficient..."

I've always been very self-reliant.  I think the particular blend of skills and talents God gave me, along with some great educators, and just happening to pick areas to work in where these skills come in super-handy, has sort of deceived me into thinking that I can take on just about anything all by myself.  On top of that, I don't really trust other people, so I like to just get things done myself.

So, for better and worse, I'm used to thriving on my own, and pretty much liking it that way.

This job does not facilitate that.  For the first time in my life, I'm in WAY over my head.  I try all the tricks I've learned in the last 10 years of teaching, and they often blow up in my face.  I do tons of research about these kids and this type of situation, and it helps a little some days, while others, I've tried all of it, and still I have a violent tantrum on my hands and I'm just standing there, baffled.  I've asked friends who are professionals for advice, which also helps some, but not enough.  And I give myself more and more margin every day, and still I'm left feeling drained and sometimes, even a bit traumatized.

On one particularly low night, I just cried out to God, and told Him I didn't know what to do anymore.  "I give up!  You're going to have to just take over, because I've tried everything I know how to do, and there's nothing left.  I feel like I've failed."

I rarely say I feel like God is speaking to me, but I thought I heard Him speak then.  He said, "It was never you anyway.  You aren't going to heal them.  I am.  Just put the final result in my hands, and follow me for the guidance.  I'll guide you as you go.  I know what to do."

It's been getting slowly better since then.

Matt. 11:28-29

Make your holiday shopping COUNT!

20% of AVON sales currently go toward getting a photo copier for Casa de Fe when you use this code (CASA2012) at this Avon site.

A word of encouragment

Someone from our mission who has been following our online posts said this about us.  It made us feel nice:

We sure do appreciate you all there at Casa de Fe - you Estes have added an important zaniness that really help people and places not give up:) We are praying for you all - you are doing "real good" :)

Breakthrough

I had an older student that's normally so well-behaved really act up yesterday.  I asked her what was wrong and told her I knew she didn't normally act up like that.  She wouldn't tell me, but after a couple minutes, she perked up, and was completely fine.

Today I pulled her aside and told her she did a great job "coming back to the class" after that.  I asked her again what was wrong.  She said nothing was, but then suddenly just threw her arms around me and smiled super big.  The smile looked real.

Puppet Personality

Today I let my students use puppets in class, because there was thunder, and they were pretty scared. Well, one of the boys, Martin, had this whole other personality emerge! He and his puppet were conversing about questions I asked THE WHOLE CLASS LONG: 

Me: So, is your puppet a boy or a girl? 

*Martin and Hormiguita duck behind a cabinet and confer. Hormiguita pops out.* 

Hormiguita: I'm a boy! *looks at Martin* Yes? 

Martin: Yes. 

Hormiguita: Yes. I'm a boy!

Giggle Fit!

PE at Casa de Fe!

Learning Curve

It's strange and exciting and sometimes intensely difficult all at the same time getting used to teaching and working with a new brand of kids. It can be baffling when stuff that used to work like a charm with my kiddos in Taiwan totally backfires in my face here. You think... kids are kids. And in some ways, it's true. But others, not so much.

First Official Day

Cleaning out the new school. First official day at the orphanage. Very good in some ways, but very overwhelming in others. This is going to call for some "Need for Speed" aww yeeeeah! I'm *so thankful* the house we're house-sitting at has video games.

R&R Abroad Comic, Edition 1

Introducing... Casa de Fe Orphanage in Shell, Ecuador

Amazing video about the amazing place we're going to work!

Find out more about the orphanage we're working for here:  www.lacasadefe.org

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Unicorn Dream

My cousin had a dream about me last night.  It went something like this:

I had a dream last night that Becky was a unicorn, but she was disguised as a human. And to find out who the unicorn was, we had to fashion a divining rod out of three different pieces from Crayola markers.

I was with someone who was using the divining rod while trying to remain undetected, although Becky and Richard James Estes were becoming suspicious (Obviously Rick knew and was trying to protect her). Then I collected a large mound of candy including gummy worms and peach rings and sour patch kids. Then we all sat down to eat in a hut of sorts.  Everyone very suspicious of one another. Then I woke up. But in another part of the dream Zach went to prom.  And for some reason Hitler was in there at some point too.

Accepted!!!

Rick and I were just officially accepted to Cornerstone International, the sending organization for the orphanage we're working at this school year! Now we can start raising funds for our year there and get health insurance! Yay!

Faith Assembly

Went to a church today that was just... exploding with joy!! I walked in and they were singing, and the bass-player was dancing because he was having so much fun and just didn't care how he looked, and... I don't know how to explain it... but there just wasn't room inside me for anything but JOY! The whole place was moving and singing and ALIVE!

Chesapeake Bay

Ponies on Assateaque Island

Rick and I went to a truck camper rally on the Chesapeake Bay to spend some quality time with my parents.  Wild ponies, stunning sunsets, delicious seafood, and COUNTRY LINE DANCING.  What more could a gal want?

School Pic

Here's Rick and I and the Casa de Fe School, March 2012

Photo by Christen Webster